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I am so sick.
so terribly sick
so incredibly sick (and tired)
of all this Vegas-bashing
There's no culture here
Bemoan the glitteratti
As they sip their
cappuccinos in coffee shops
So far from hip
they can't call them cafes
There's no art no literature no
music no stadium-played pro-
football games no high moral
standards no parks full of sun
no quaint seaside inns and
(most of all)
There's absolutely nothin'
to do in this shit-spattered
town except to
gamble or screw
WAHHH WAHHH
WAHHH
SHUT UP
Is that any way to talk about
an infant!!
I mean, c'mon man
This wasteland is just beginning to
cook and us
the errant artists
the ones who paint and write
and dance and sing
We get shape it
shape it
shape it
This fantastic landscape where the
Statue of Liberty stares at the
spire on the Eiffel Tower and
the pyramids sit next to King Arthur's
castle and pirates scream Avast!
as their ships blow up and
volcanoes pour fire into the night
air to the delight of millions
and a huge phallic object bursts
from the shit and dope and murder
of the Naked City to tear the
clouds above and where you can
get sauced at 3:00 or 4:00
or 5:00 in the morning or while
your kids are in school or you can
let the ice-cream melt in your
shopping cart as you plunk your
welfare cash into a slot machine at
Albertson's or
7-11 or
Even the fucking car wash
and here you can hike into the
majestic red-desert where Indian
hieroglyphics shimmer in the sweltering
light like portents of mobsters
killing money borrowers under neon
billboards and where you can
ski down between beautiful pine-
trees and an hour later feel the
wind blow back your hair as
you go zipping across the glass
surface of the largest man-
made lake in the whole fucking world.
and you can eat oh yes a
veritable smorgasbord
of fine food from all around the world
usually for under 4 dollars and
the fountains in the malls talk
while the painted skies go from
dusk 'til dawn 'til dusk 'til
dawn and if you like to watch people
hold on to your socks rocket-boy
and check out that line of Japanese
tourists waving flags like fantastic
parodies of patriots at Macy's Day
Parade and pimps and hookers and
guys from Oklahoma with their fat
wives and beautiful showgirls and
even more beautiful bored
housewives and businessmen and
psychopaths and angels ah yes
the angels are here too
And we've got Thunder Hockey
and stars
baseball
and UNLV basketball and the
Judy Bailey Theater
for the performing arts
and parks
and dance halls
and bars
and museums
and remember remember
remember this town is a baby a little tiny squalling
baby so come all you artists and
poets and dancers and singers
and take hold of this clay with
me take hold of this clay and
squeeze it and form it and shape
it into the most unique place on
Earth.
I am Vegas and if you're standing
on my ass please step off so I
can stand up.
EPILOGUE
One of the best things about living
in America is you don't need a
passport to travel out of the
state to another state.
Catch my drift?
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